Friendship

Triratna’s community is built on friendships. Buddhism is sometimes seen as a path of solitary meditation practice, but that is only one dimension. We are also deeply connected to others, and within Triratna we treat friendship as a central part of our Buddhist lives. 

Most of us feel that friends bring richness to our lives, but many forces in modern life mean that they don’t develop automatically. It’s even rarer to find friends with whom we can share the things that are most important to us and communicate freely about them.  

In Triratna we see friendship as a practice – something we can develop and deepen by making it conscious. The Buddhist community, or sangha, is based on friendships, and we see a healthy sangha as a network of friendships. 

“Communication in the context of Going for Refuge [is] a shared exploration of the spiritual world between people who are in a relationship of complete honesty and harmony. The communication is the exploration and the exploration is the communication; in this way spiritual progress takes place.”

Sangharakshita, The Meaning of Conversion in Buddhism

As well as friendship with our peers, in Triratna we recognise the particular value of friendships with people who are more experienced than us on the Buddhist path. Buddhism calls this kalyana mitrata, or ‘spiritual friendship’. 

We practise metta bhavana, or Loving Kindness meditation and value communal situations like retreats, community living and team-based Right Livelihood because these contexts help friendships develop. The value of friendship has not been made explicit in the Buddhist tradition, and we see the emphasis on communication within Triratna as a re-expression of the spirit of Buddhism that is important today.

“Spiritual friendship is a training in unselfishness, in egolessness. You treat them in the same way you treat yourself – that is, you treat them as being equal with yourself. You relate to them with an attitude of loving kindness, not according to where the power between you lies.” Sangharakshita, What is the Sangha?

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