Today is the last bit of "Dharma input". We are going to explore the ideas of "control" and "influence".  I'd like to invite you to read the following short text, and then take some time to do the reflection - and to bear the material in mind as you go about your practice today.

Tomorrow is the last day of the retreat, and will be spent reviewing what we've learnt and thinking about what we can take forward into the future…

Distinguishing control from influence
Imagine we're in the midst of a situation in which the worldly winds are blowing.  Once we’ve spotted what’s going on, we can think about what is happening in terms of control and influence. Ask yourself what’s happening. 

To what extent is it really under your control, if at all?
Or is it outside your control?
Do you need to change and adapt?
Can you respond to the situation in a way that will have a helpful influence on your state of mind, and, if possible, on the situation around you?

In other words, ask yourself what is a ‘given’ in the situation, and what is a ‘possible’.  What we can't control, we just have to accept. But when there is something we can influence, well, let's try to do what we can.  Here’s two  examples  -

          A loved one is in hospital, seriously ill, and you are waiting for them to be transferred to a specialist ward. It is so urgent and important to you, and yet it depends on factors – the busyness of the hospital staff, the availability of a bed in the new ward – which are entirely outside your control. This lack of control is likely to cause us stress and anxiety if we don't recognise and work with it. But maybe there are small ways in which you can have a helpful influence: speaking calmly to the hospital staff to ensure the issue is on their radar, and telling the patient and other relatives the objective facts of the situation.

          Or you're on your way to the airport to catch a flight and your train has been cancelled. Again, the situation is outside your control, but how you respond will influence your state of mind and that of others around you. A calmer response will lead to more presence of mind, which may lead you to remembering that you've got a friend who is off work this week, and that means he might be able to give you a lift...

There is a well-known story of a Zen master who was flying back home after visiting his disciples in a foreign country. He and one of his students, who was escorting him to the airport, were waiting for the bus, but it hadn't turned up. The student was anxious, pacing up and down the pavement, making panicky calls on her mobile phone. At one point she looked across at the Zen teacher. He was just sitting on his suitcase, enjoying the sunshine. She realised that not only was he not worried, he wasn't even waiting. He knew there was nothing to be done, and could drop all desire to control the situation, and, instead, simply sit in the sun.

Giving up isn’t easy...
Of course, accepting things that are outside our control, giving up on wishing something will go a particular way, and letting go of our frustration because it went the other, is not always easy. Sometimes the emotions at play are strong. But the first task is to recognise more clearly the situation we are in, to bring more awareness in. Knowing the nature of the worldly winds and distinguishing between control and influence may help us do that.  You can see it as a stepping-back into a broader perspective. From this perspective we may be able to see other possibilities that just weren't apparent to us when we were caught up in the situation.

Suggested Daily Practice: a reflection on 'control' and 'influence'
Closing your eyes, relaxing for a few minutes, try to imagine yourself in a situation from your life where one or another of the worldly winds is blowing on you. Bring the bare facts of the situation to mind, and allow any feelings associated with it to come up, without getting ‘blown away’ by them, of course!

Having reconnected with that experience, look and try to see how you might be resisting the situation, how you might be trying to retain the illusion of control.

How does that manifest?
What does it feel like?
What would it feel like to be able to give up control and just do what you can to have a positive influence?

Reflecting in this way may help you to connect with how it felt, and to recall the kinds of thoughts that were going on. It may also enable you to imagine a different kind of response, and what that would look and feel like.

Suggested Meditation:
Don't forget there are loads of other people practising like you. There are over 500 of us on the on-line version of this retreat, and many more at Buddhist Centres around the world.  It might you give fresh inspiration to bear them in mind, and know that they are bearing you in mind!

You could do a session of metta bhavana – again sending positive intentions around the world!